I feel like a fat fuck.

I am getting a scale today...

Intake

Semita (Sweet pastry)
1/2 Corn on a Cob
1/3 Coke
Yellow rice
A piece of meat (most of it was fat, so I didn't finish it.)
1/3 Boiled sweet plantain
3 Oreo cookies
Chewed and spat Fritos brand corn chips...don't ask.

I'm tired and stressed about money as usual. The cable guy came today to fix the box, and I just kept thinking how fat I must look. I wondered if he thought I was fine just the way I was. I called mom soon after, told her what the guy said about the box, and hung up.

Around 12 I started getting the munchies. I remembered I bought my daughter some Graduates puff cereal snacks a few days ago. She doesn't seem to like them so much. But 77 pieces make 25 calories. I took out a small plastic bowl, and started counting the puffs to make the calculations on how many calories I'd be intaking, (I really wasn't going to eat 77 pieces, maybe 20 to 35) but then I changed my mind. I didn't want the calories in my system. I have the urge to fast. It's strange.

Yesterday I ate pretty well though.

Breakfast:
Nothing

Lunch:
2 sweat breads and a cup of coffee

Snack:
Hard sweet bread (Was meant to be dunked in coffee)

Dinner:
A cup of pasta with shredded cheese and cream cheese. It tasted more like lassangna (Mom's comment)

I mean, it means I ate. I ate! shouldn't that be enough?!

Just had a terrible break up. I'm sad, angry, and hurt. But he gave me a beautiful daughter. And that's the only tie I'll have with him. Men are little boys inside. It takes a woman to make them grow up. Sadly, I'm just a little girl.

Breakfast:
Water (0 calories)
Toasted Bread- 60 calories
1/2 Tablespoon Philidelphia cream- 20 calories
Total  80 calories

Lunch:
1/2 of McDonald:s Sausage Burrito -150 calories
1/2 teaspoon caramelized popcorn- 5 calories
Total 155 calories

Dinner:
12/12/12 Update*** A piece of pork, and honestly I can't remember what else. I know I didn't have dinner, but it was a little something something I know. Maybe a sour patch mini candy bag. (55 calories worth)

Sorry it's been crazy lately. I'm once again back together with the hubster. We talked it over...I wonder if he's listened to what I've said..

And of course the other-in-law and mom keep telling me I don't eat. I eat. But it's hard finding time TO eat. And my baby girl can be a handful.

And the birth control is making me nasuas. It makes my body think I'm pregnant so my tummys still looks pudgy. Ugh, If I'm pregnant I'll do something so terrible I'll hate myself for life. So I hope to god that's not the case. ( PS, I take the pills correctly. So NO I'm not being irrespinsible. I just tend to not trust the pill.)

Grand Total:?/1000 calories

Everyone says,"Oh Ana, you look so skinny. Too skinny, Are you eating enough? Eat something. You look tired; it's because you don't eat."

Excuse me?

I look tired because I barely sleep, I work all day and come home to take care of Q the rest of the night. And no, I do not look skinny. I still have a bulge. But thank God my stomach didn't get all disgusting after Q was born.

I really need to buy a scale. I've lost weight, but how much? I don't know.


Buttered toast (90 cals)

1/2 Yoyo pastry (125 cals)
Instant Banana and Cream Oatmeal (130 cals)
Naked chicken wrap (200 cals)
Cheetos (150 cals)
Boiled egg (70 cals)
Total:765 cals

2 months and one day after giving birth and I still feel fat. I've lost a total of 32 lbs.....but I still need to go down thirty more. I heard it takes 6 months to a year to fully recover from labor. My upper ab area still hurts I've lost a lot of muscle mass...And with the baby needing my full attention it's hard getting any amount of food in.

And even if I don't eat the numbers on the scale barely move down a digit every week. It's so unfair.

Breakfast:
2 cups corn soup

Lunch:
1/2 cup of instant noodle soup

8:00PM
1/2 cup minute made juice (45 calories)
1 slice cheese (45 calories)
2/3 cup special k cereal (100 calories)
10 mini crackers (35 calories)

Total:
225 calories

12:00 PM
1/2 cup minute maid juice (45 calories)
1/2 slice ham (15 calories)
10 mini crackers (35 calories)

1:00PM
2/3 cups special k honey and oats (100 calories)

2:00PM
1/2 cup minute maid juice (45 calories)

3:00PM
1 slice of american cheese (45 calories)

5:00PM
Klondike bar (240 calories)

8:00PM
2/3 cup rice (?)
1/2 cup spaghetti with chunks of ground beef and potatoes (?)



I've been getting dizzy spells recently, and I no longer have the energy to walk at a normal pace. Since I'm breast feeding that might be the root of the drastic changes. I will add 500 calories to each day of the ABC diet because it's said that if one breastfeeds they burn about 500 calories each day.

Breakfast:
oatmeal (120 oatmeal)

Snack:
cheese string (100 calories)

Lunch:
 apple sauce (60 calories)

Snack:
fruit cup (70 calories)

Dinner:
10 mini crackers (35 calories)
1/2 slice of ham (15 calories)

Dessert:
2/3 cups special kelloggs honey and oats cereal (100 calories)

Total:
500 calories

Day 1 (ABC Diet)

Breakfast:
nothing

Lunch:
pop tarts mini crisps (100 calories)

Snack:
veggie straws (130 calories)

Dinner:
nothing

Total:
230 calories

Breakfast:
emerald natural almonds (100 calories)
Lunch:
premium ceasar salad with grilled chicken (190 calories)
Snack:
apple sauce (60 calories)
Dinner:
Cheesy Nacho (280 calories)
Total:
605 calories

BINGE

Breakfast:

oatmeal

Lunch:

oatmeal

5 cheddar cheese cubes

Dinner:

2 tortillas

crumbled hard cheese
Snack:
glass of milk
1 banana

Breakfast:

1/2 cup 2% milk

1 instant oatmeal

Snack:

2 cubes cheddar cheese

Lunch:

1 and 1/3 cup 2% milk

1 instant oatmeal

Snack:

3 cubes cheddar cheese

Dinner:

nothing

Breakfast:
1 instant oatmeal
Lunch:
1 instant oatmeal
Snack:
1 jumbo donut covered in chocolate and sprinkles
Dinner:
2 pieces of McDonald's chicken selects

Day 5

Breakfast: Diced peaches (80 calories)

Lunch: Instant oatmeal (120 calories)

DInner:TBA

Edit: I don't remember what I ate this day but I do know I'm losing a pound a day. I'm depressed most days and my significant other just doesn't get me at all.

Day 1 (800 Calorie Diet)

Breakfast:

2 Eggo waffles (160 calories)

1/2 can of Jumex Apple Nectar (75 calories)

Total: 235 calories

Lunch:
Banana (125 calories)
1/2 can of Jumex Apple Nectar (75 calories)

Total: 200 calories

Snack:
Banana (125 calories)
3 cups salad (60 calories)
1 tablespoon italian dressing (40 calories)
Total: 225 calories

Dinner: 5 slices of pizza hut (1650)


Total: 2310 calories

The baby was born a week and 2 days ago. She's healthy and beautiful. I'm just glad the guilty feeling is over.

I'm starting to feel the contractions. I can barely roll over when I'm in bed. I can't wait for all this to be over. I just want my body back.

We moved upstairs today. We had to wash the carpet yesterday because it was just disgusting. The former renter would bring his friends and a prostitute and just get fucked up and fuck until he finally got kicked out.

We painted the walls (We being me and the hubby) and moved everything upstairs in just 2 days. I like it up here. I wish the carpet was spotless though. The dirty marks are very faint but I rather it be super clean.

Oh well, at least we have a closet and our own bathroom now.

I decided to delete the diet page from my blog. It triggers me to continue to count calories. List everything, measure, check, I just find it time consuming. I barely have enough time to eat as it is. I just want to gain the freakin' pounds I'm suppose to, give birth and just die.

Gained 4 lb in 21 days....Not sure if I should be happy or depressed.

Day 5

1800 calories

Day 4

Breakfast:
Cereal 210
Yogurt 80
Snack:
5 Ritz crackers 80
American cheese 60
Decaf tea 0
   Splenda 0
Lunch:
Ham and cheese sandwich 230
    Mayo 20
    Ketchup 20
    Mustard 0
Snack:
20 grapes 40
Protein shake 160
1/2 American cheese 30
4 Club crackers 70
Total: 1000 calories

Day 3

Breakfast:
Yogurt 80
Coconut flakes 35
Banana 125
Snack:
Ritz cracker 80
American cheese 60
Decaf coffee and zero calorie sweetener 0
Lunch:
PBJ sandwich 270
Snack:
Ham Sandwich 170
Dinner:
Cinnamon toast crunch 130
Milk 80
Creamy mushroom soup 120
Ritz crackers 80
Yogurt 80
White bread 60
Margarine 60
Total: 1430 calories

Day 2

Breakfast:
Yogurt 80
Decaf coffee 0
Splenda 0
Lunch:
2 slices of white bread 120
ham 50
American cheese 60
mustard 0
3/4 cups cinnamon toast crunch cereal 130
2 tablespoons coconut flakes 70
Snack:
5 strawberries 20
4 Club crackers 70
Dinner:
Eggo waffles 100
2 slices of white bread 120
5 ritz cracker 80
yogurt 80
American cheese 60
american cheese 60
5 chicken nuggets 170
3/4 cup cinnamon toast crunch 130
Total: 1400 calories

Day 1 (Week 3)

3 Fig Newtons 165
3/4 cups Cinnamon toast crunch cereal 130
Burrito supreme 420
Taco supreme 200
Dorito taco supreme 200
Yogurt 80
1/2 cup sherbert 110
4 crackers 70
Decaf coffee 0
Splenda 0
4 containers of half and half 80
4 chicken nuggets 190
Fries 230
Apple slices 15
Apple juice 100
Total: 2000 calories

Day 7

Breakfast:
Coke
Lunch:
Cherry Coke
Toasted ham and cheese sandwich
Snack:
Fruit salad
Dinner:
Frosty
Fries
1/2 lb Burger
Snack:
3 Hershey Kisses
Total: Approx. 3 meals

Day 6

BINGE

Day 5

Breakfast:
 Nothing
Lunch:
1 Tortilla
1 Small sausage
1/4 cup beans
2 Tablespoons chopped onions, jalepenos, tomatoes etc
1 Small strip of carne asada
1 Pepsi
Dinner:
1 Pan Relleno
Dessert:
1 Sip of Cake n Shake
1 Like it portion of Chocolate Devotion
Total:  2 Meals

Day 4

2 Yogurts 160
1 Flour tortilla 110
1 slice of ham 50
1 Slice of American cheese 60
3/4 Cups of Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal 130
1/2 Cup whole milk 80
11 Doritos 150
2 Eggo 200
1 Boiled egg 70
5 Ritz crackers 80
1 Tamal de elote 210
2  2/3 Tablespoons cream cheese 80
4 Club crackers 70
1 Tablespoon peanut butter 100
1 Instant Noddle Cup 330
1 Slice white bread 60
1 Tablespoon margarine 60
Total: 2000 calories

Day 3

3/4 cinnamon toast crunch cereal 130
1 cup milk 130
1 tamal de elote 210
1 tablespoon cream cheese 30
1 flour tortilla 110
1 slice of ham 50
1 slice of american cheese 60
1 yogurt 80
2 Eggos 200
4 crackers 70
1 cup noodles 330
Total: 1400 calories

Day 2

3/4 Cup Cinnamon Toast Crunch (130 calories)
1/2 Cup 2% milk (65 calories)
2 Fig Newton (110 calories)
2 Cup canned beef stew (500 calories)
1 Yogurt (80 calories)
4 crackers (70 calories)
1 1/2 teaspoon peanut butter (50 calories)
1 Hot chocolate (120 calories)
1 Banana (125 calories)
11 Doritos chips (150 calories)
1 Eggo (100 calories)
Total: 1500

Day 1 (Week 2)

1 Wendy's Jr Cheeseburger (290 calories)
1 Wendy's small fries (320 calories)
1 Wendy's small cup of Minute Maid Lemonade (160 calories)
8 Club crackers (140 calories)
1 Yogurt (80 calories)
2 Slices of bread (160 calories)
1 Slice of American Cheese (60 calories)
1 Slice of Ham (50 calories)
1 Tablespoon of mustard (0 calories)
2 Fig Newtons (110 calories)
2/3 Cups Special Kelloggs (100 calories)
1 Cup 2% milk (130 calories)
2 Eggos (200 calories)
3/4 Cups of Cinnamon Toast Crunch Cereal (130 calories)
10 strawberries (40 calories)
10 Blackberries (30 calories)
Total: 2000 calories

Day 7

1 Dannon Light and fit yogurt (80 calories)
1 Cup of Arnold Palmer (50 calories)
3 Slice of Sunbeam bread (240 calories)
1 and a 1/2 Slice of ham (75 calories)
1 and a 1/2 slice of American cheese (90 calories)
2 Tablespoon of mustard (0 calories)
4 Strawberries (20 calories)
8 Keeblers Club crackers (70 calories)
1/2 Cup 2% milk (65 calories)
2/3 Cup Special Kelloggs cereal (100 calories)
5 grapes (10 calories)
2 Chocolate Eggo waffles (200 calories)
Total: 1000 calories

Day 6

BINGE

Day 5

Breakfast:
1 Eggo (100 calories)
1 Cup of Arnold Palmer (50 calories)
Snack1:
1 Dannon Light and Fit Yogurt (80 calories)
1 Fig Newton (55 calories)
Snack2:
2/3 Cup of Special Kellogg's (100 calories)
1/2 Cup of 2% reduced milk (65 calories)
Snack3:
1 Slice of white bread (80 calories)
1 Tablespoon butter (70 calories)
Lunch:
1 Boiled egg (70 calories)
1 Boiled potato (110 calories)
15 Grapes (30 calories)
10 Blackberries (30 calories)
Snack:
1 Bag of Cheetos (160 calories)
Dinner:
2 Eggos (200 calories)
1 Yogurt (80 calories)
1 Coconut flavored popsicle stick (120 calories)
Total: 1400 calories

Day 4

Breakfast:
2 Eggos (200 calories)
1 Cup Arnold Palmer (50 calories)
Total: 250 calories
Snack:
1 Buttered toast (150 calories)
Lunch:
1 Fig Newton (55 calories)
1 Ham and cheese sandwich (290 calories)
Dinner:
Fried Fish
2/3 Cup of salad
1 Cup of rice
1 Tortilla
Snack:
1 Cup of milk (130 calories)
5 grapes (10 calories)
3 Prunes (60 calories)
1 Fig Newton (55 calories)
Total: 1000 calories plus 1 meal

Day 3

Breakfast:
2 Eggos (200 calories)
1 Cup of milk (130 calories)
10 grapes (20 calories)
Lunch:
Cereal (160 calories)
10 blackberries (30 calories)
5 grapes (10 calories)
Snack:
1 Slice of white bread (80 calories)
1 Tablespoon of butter (60 calories)
Dinner:
Ham and Cheese sandwich (290 calories)
1 Cheese string (80 calories)
Dannon Light and Fit yogurt (80 calories) yum!
2 Newtons Fruit Crisp (110 calories)
1 Buttered toast (150 calories)
1 Eggo (100 calories)
1 Very Thin wheat bread (40 calories)
1 slice of chopped ham (50 calories)
5 Chicken nuggets (170 calories)
10 Grapes (20 calories)
4 Cookies (160 calories)
TotaL: 2000 calories

Day 2

Breakfast:
Cereal (160 calories)
15 Grapes (30 calories)
1 Cheese string (80 calories)
1 Very Thin whole wheat bread (40 calories)
1 Slice of white American cheese (60 calories)
5 Large strawberries (30 calories)
Lunch:
Nothing
Dinner:
Tamal de elote (210 calories)
3 Tablespoons of Honduran cream cheese (90 calories)
Snacks:
Coconut flavored Popsicle stick (120 calories)
Pear flavored yogurt (80 calories)
Total:900 calories

Day 1 (8 Week Diet;Week 1)

Breakfast:
Cereal (160 calories)
20 grapes (40 calories)
Lunch:
Tamal de elote (210 calories)
3 Tablespoons of Honduran cream cheese (90 calories)
Snacks:
Ham and cheese sandwich (270 calories)
1 Sweet plantain (220 calories)
Dinner:
Mash Potatoes (210 calories)
Cheese string (80 calories)
5 grapes (10 calories)
Hotdog with ketchup (220 calories)
3 mini pancakes (280 calories)
1/4 cup syrup (210 calories)
Total: 2000 calories

Day 5

Breakfast:
McChicken
Medium fries
Dinner:
Cold Stone's Chocolate Devotion Love it portion
Sip of Cherry Cheesecake shake
Total: 2 meals
Edit: Terminated due to rapid weightless during pregnancy

Day 4

Breakfast:
2/3 cups of Kelloggs Honey and Oats Cereal (100 calories)
1/2 cup of 2% reduced milk (60 calories)
Lunch:
1 Boiled hot  dog (120 calories)
1 Slice of white bread (80 calories)
Mustard (0 calories)
Snack:
20 grapes (40 calories)
5 crackers (80 calories)
1 Cup of almond milk (60 calories)
Dinner:
1 Tablespoon of butter (70 calories)
2 slices of Very Thin wheat bread (80 calories)
Snacks:
1 Cheese Head (80 calories)
1 Medium sized banana (125 calories)
2/3 cups Special Kelloggs cereal (100 calories)
1/2 Cup 2% reduced milk (60 calories)
Total: 1055 calories

Day 3

Breakfast:

1 Boiled egg (70 calories)

1 Boiled potato (110 calories)

Snack:

Little Debbie Cloud Cake (150 calories)
Lunch:
4 cookies (160 calories)
Dinner:
2 Slices of white bread (160 calories)
1 Slice of white American cheese (60 calories)
Snack:
1 Slice of ham (30)
1 Slice of white American cheese (60)
5 crackers (80 calories)

Total: 880 calories

Day 2

Breakfast:

10 Veggie Straws (35 calories)

Caffeine Free Ginger ale (120 calories)

Cheese Crackers with peanut butter (190 calories)

Lunch:

1 Slice of bread (80 calories)

1 boiled hot dog (120 calories)

Mustard (0 calories)

Snack:

10 Veggie Straws (35 calories)

Dinner:

1 Box of raisins (130 calories)

2 Slices of thin wheat bread (80 calories)

1 Slice of ham (30 calories)

1 Plum tomato (13 calories)

1 Cheese string (80 calories)

3 cookies (120 calories)

Snack:

1 Banana (125 calories)

1 Dulces Diana Sorbete (35 calories)

Total:1193 Calories

Day 1 (M2B Diet)

Breakfast:

14 Baby carrots (35 calories)

Lunch:

1 Dulces Diana Sorbete Fresas  (35 calories)

Dinner:

2 Grilled tortillas and cheese with shredded cabbage (meal)

Snack:

8 Veggie Straws (28 calories)

Total: 98 calories plus 1 meal