I feel like a fat fuck.

I am getting a scale today...

Intake

Semita (Sweet pastry)
1/2 Corn on a Cob
1/3 Coke
Yellow rice
A piece of meat (most of it was fat, so I didn't finish it.)
1/3 Boiled sweet plantain
3 Oreo cookies
Chewed and spat Fritos brand corn chips...don't ask.

I'm tired and stressed about money as usual. The cable guy came today to fix the box, and I just kept thinking how fat I must look. I wondered if he thought I was fine just the way I was. I called mom soon after, told her what the guy said about the box, and hung up.

Around 12 I started getting the munchies. I remembered I bought my daughter some Graduates puff cereal snacks a few days ago. She doesn't seem to like them so much. But 77 pieces make 25 calories. I took out a small plastic bowl, and started counting the puffs to make the calculations on how many calories I'd be intaking, (I really wasn't going to eat 77 pieces, maybe 20 to 35) but then I changed my mind. I didn't want the calories in my system. I have the urge to fast. It's strange.

Yesterday I ate pretty well though.

Breakfast:
Nothing

Lunch:
2 sweat breads and a cup of coffee

Snack:
Hard sweet bread (Was meant to be dunked in coffee)

Dinner:
A cup of pasta with shredded cheese and cream cheese. It tasted more like lassangna (Mom's comment)

I mean, it means I ate. I ate! shouldn't that be enough?!

Just had a terrible break up. I'm sad, angry, and hurt. But he gave me a beautiful daughter. And that's the only tie I'll have with him. Men are little boys inside. It takes a woman to make them grow up. Sadly, I'm just a little girl.

Breakfast:
Water (0 calories)
Toasted Bread- 60 calories
1/2 Tablespoon Philidelphia cream- 20 calories
Total  80 calories

Lunch:
1/2 of McDonald:s Sausage Burrito -150 calories
1/2 teaspoon caramelized popcorn- 5 calories
Total 155 calories

Dinner:
12/12/12 Update*** A piece of pork, and honestly I can't remember what else. I know I didn't have dinner, but it was a little something something I know. Maybe a sour patch mini candy bag. (55 calories worth)

Sorry it's been crazy lately. I'm once again back together with the hubster. We talked it over...I wonder if he's listened to what I've said..

And of course the other-in-law and mom keep telling me I don't eat. I eat. But it's hard finding time TO eat. And my baby girl can be a handful.

And the birth control is making me nasuas. It makes my body think I'm pregnant so my tummys still looks pudgy. Ugh, If I'm pregnant I'll do something so terrible I'll hate myself for life. So I hope to god that's not the case. ( PS, I take the pills correctly. So NO I'm not being irrespinsible. I just tend to not trust the pill.)

Grand Total:?/1000 calories